Why Are Some People Nasty to People Who Are Kind?
People, as social beings, need positive relationships, and for most people, that includes a need to be accepted in society. However, even though people want to be needed and loved, there are sometimes other individuals who make that goal difficult.
Unfortunately, some people get satisfaction from the emotional discomfort of more tender and kind-hearted individuals. They feel the need to put others down or to hurt them, even if that person has done them no harm.
Which brings us to ask, why are some people nasty to people who are kind and without malice? Perhaps you think it’s because they feel bad and want others to feel that way too. Simplistically, this is not untrue, but there are many different underlying reasons that drive this conduct.
People who tend to act in mean ways often do so because they worry that other people will find them boring or annoying, which makes them feel anxious and even angry. They don’t wake up in the morning and decide they will be spiteful; however, when confronted by a kind person, their attitude changes, and the ugliness begins to show.
Here are a few reasons why some people exhibit nasty behavior towards others who have the best interests of others at heart.
They Feel Insecure
Mean people often exhibit nasty behavior because of their insecurities. Some people are naturally nasty to those who can get along with others and who have no problem communicating with anyone, regardless of their race, gender or other points of identity.
When people are insecure, they tend to direct their anger towards those who do not outwardly show any insecurities of their own. They want them to feel insecure, and therefore they try to do whatever they can to disrupt their interactions with others.
Their Self-Esteem Is Threatened
Sympathetic and generous people show positive behaviors which can threaten the self-esteem of a nasty person, and drive them to act badly towards them. Kind people should not take this personally as these acts are ways of making the nasty person feel better about themselves.
They Feel They Don’t Compare
A theory called the ‘social comparison theory’ argues that people naturally compare themselves to others. These comparisons can easily make a person feel better or worse about themselves, and it is only natural that they prefer to feel better.
Their constant comparing of themselves to others makes them act nastily in order to make themselves look and feel better. If they can make the kind person look bad in the eyes of those they are trying to impress, they feel superior.
Someone who is satisfied with themselves and does not have a socially competitive nature may struggle to understand why they are often on the receiving end of nasty and petty acts.
They Can Easily Take Advantage of a Kind Person
It’s an unfortunate fact, but kind-hearted people are often easy to manipulate and take advantage of. This is because they expect others to treat them the way they treat others. Their attentiveness, caring nature and positive attitude can make a nasty person very uncomfortable. From the nasty person’s perspective and mindset, the better-balanced individual comes across as phony or false. After all, they reason, how can a person be like that?
The nasty person will see their gentleness or ‘weakness’ as an opportunity to take advantage of. This does not justify the nasty actions, it only reminds that no matter how kind a person is, they will often attract people who are nasty, mean and rude.
You may also want to read Signs a Toxic Person Is Manipulating You.